4 – Værtsfamilie

Wherever you go becomes a part of you somehow.

— Anita Desai

When we were choosing housing options for our time abroad, it never occurred to me to pick anything but a homestay. I am living in Denmark so I want to see how the Danes live. While I was skeptical at first, I can say that in week four, I am very satisfied with my choice. While I certainly understand that a homestay is not for everyone, I think that it strikes the perfect balance between independence, sociability, and culture.

Independence was my biggest concern when I got here. As a college student, I am used to living on my own schedule—often eating at weird hours of the day—so living with a family initially proved to be a bit restrictive. Though my host family was and is very flexible about meal times, I am still adjusting to a fixed dinner schedule where I have to be back at the house around 7 every night. At first I was a bit jarred by this, but I have grown accustomed to it and now really appreciate coming back to a cooked meal every night. I have been hearing stories from people living on their own and I can say I’m glad that I’m not joining them for their box mac and cheese dinners.

But speaking of mac and cheese, I found out last week that my host family has never had mac and cheese before! As an American, it is stunning that someone who consumes much more dairy than I do on a regular basis has not tried it. I have now promised them that I will make my mom’s mac and cheese recipe soon so they can experience one of my all-time favorite comfort foods.

Now about sociability. This has not been as difficult as I had imagined my first week here to be. To that Sam, it felt like everyone was off in the city having a great time without me. Current Sam realizes that most of their evenings are spent similarly to my own—food, homework, bed. This change in perspective has let me see that living outside the city with a 30 minute commute is not the worst thing in the world. On weekends, I have been able to eat dinner with my host family and then go out with people in the city later—most night life in Denmark doesn’t start until 10 or 11. On week nights, if I have plans in the city, it’s as easy as letting my family know that I won’t be back for dinner. My only wish in terms of socializing is that my homestay network (a group of homestay students living close to one another) gets a bit closer. We haven’t really interacted much since our initial get-to-know-you event which I feel is a big lost resource.

It’s no contest that living with a host family has given me much better cultural insight than students living on their own. From learning about the Danish political system to pronunciation help and travel tips, I have felt very well informed compared to my non-homestay peers. I also think I’ve gotten to know much more of the city with my host mother than I would have on my own. Having grown up here, she just has so much more knowledge about where to go and when than any website I could find.

A few weeks ago, my host mother introduced me to Matador, a Danish TV show from the 70s and 80s that was extremely popular in its time. It follows the lives of several characters from all social classes in the fictional town of Korsbæk in the 1930s.

Diving into Danish cinema with them has been one of the highlights of my past few weeks. On nights when I don’t have much homework and my host brother is free, we all curl up on the couch, get our hygge on, and watch one of the 50 minute episodes.

Being from the late 1970s, the pace is quite slow, focusing on the characters and their personal drama instead of on action or jokes. Don’t get me wrong though, the show is quite funny in an old-timey way (think Cheers) where it doesn’t try to be funny but funny things happen. This change of pace has been refreshing at a time when I have felt pretty drained by current TV offerings.

We just finished season one the other night and have eighteen more episodes left in the show. I am optimistic that we will be able to finish them before I leave in May!